Snoring or When Did a Boeing 747 Jet Land in My Bed?

Snoring or When Did a Boeing 747 Jet Land in My Bed?

I swear it’s mystifying, I don’t know how this could have happened but there’s a Boeing 747 jet that landed in my bed. Okay, so it’s a slight exaggeration but read on to see where I am coming from.

Here’s how it starts: It’s getting late and I am getting tired, it’s time to “catch some zees”. (Gotta love the saying).

But first, let’s go through the traditional pre-sleep preparation stage. I know that some take a shower, some brush their teeth, floss and gargle before getting into proper comfortable bedroom attire (pajamas, shorts, t-shirts or nightgown depending on gender) followed by pulling down the bedspread and fluffing up the pillows. Seems like a lot of work just to get some sleep, but its routine. Admittedly, I shower in the morning every day just to wake up!

Okay so now we are ready for bed. For purpose of this article we will assume that there are two who sleep in the same bed. However, sometimes there’s a family dog (hopefully a small one) who believes the bed is either his or hers and we humans are nothing more than intruders. So, give doggie a treat, and let’s move on.

We know there are those who require additional incentives to bring us into sleep mode. Some watch late televised news (which is never calming), read a few chapters of a favorite book (or Kindle) which means a night light may be on until the sandman visits and its finally time for beddy-bye. Of course, the pooch has fallen asleep as soon as it hits the bed. And, if you are ultra-lucky your dog falls asleep between you and your sleep mate. A king size bed works wonders for this grouping.

Usually it takes a few minutes to approach that desired deep sleep zone, but when it does watch out because here it comes, it begins with a few bizarre sounds coming from the mouth of one (or both) of the bed’s occupants. These sounds usually start out softly but quickly advance to a more rapid and louder sound. Let’s say it’s equivalent to the sound level of a Boeing 747 Jet landing in the bed!

If snoring is left un-checked the volume increases drastically. You might notice pictures falling off walls, books slipping off shelves, mirrors shaking, windows rattling and paint cracking.

Now the fun starts. Because the poking and shoving begins between all the bed’s occupants as each one accuses the other of being the guilty party. Sometimes a loud coughing is offered up to awaken the offending snorer or to temporarily put a halt to the incredibly loud volume. Bodies often change positions to avoid the incredible noise and in some cases heads are even buried deeply into pillows (not too advisable (even the inventor of My Pillow would agree.) And on some occasions the dog might just push you out of the bed. This is not so bad because snoring sounds are greatly diminished when you are under the bed.

So, how is snoring best addressed? Well, there are numerous advertised do it yourself remedies. For example, I am sure that you have surely seen the advertisements for that magical nose breathe strip. Sorry, but I have heard stories where that nose thing falls off and winds up on the dog’s nose. That’s okay because even though the dog denies being a snorer, he really is the culprit!

Shhh . . . finally sleep has arrived, both parties (along with the dog) fall asleep out of pure exhaustion. Although periodic rumblings may continue throughout the night.

Snoring may not seem to be serious and as described to some might even seem to be moderately humorous, chronic snoring can be very serious and can lead to breathing pauses, fatigue, high blood pressure, stroke and yes even a heart attack. These are reasons enough to have chronic snoring addressed by a medical professional. I repeat, chronic snoring is something that’s serious, so be smart and check it out.

Besides, a medical diagnosis could offer some prevention tips and a possible cure resulting in that sought after restful night’s sleep. That is unless you enjoy the sound of a Boeing 747 Jet landing in your bed each night.

And, remember although we love our dogs, the answer is always “the dog did it”! Gees, now I’ll have to write an article apologizing to my fellow dog lovers.

Stephen Dick is the president of SDMC, a full service creative marketing communications resource –

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