There’s a pattern that repeats every year (either on my birthday or New Year’s Eve or another milestone) and I’m hoping you can help me break it. Each year, I re-evaluate my life and I look at all the areas of my life that need fixing. I look at my bad habits that I want to change. The first week or so things are fine. Then, I start to slip and eventually completely give up. The following year, the list of things I want to change is discouragingly similar to the year before, so it always looks like I’m trying to fix the same thing.
How can I break out of this pattern and get some momentum going in the right direction?
Dear Ground Hog’s Day,
Thank you for your courage to ask about a topic to which so many people can relate! Having the life experience that you are re-living the same goals & attempts over and over, with no progress can be frustrating. There are a few things I can offer from a coaching standpoint to help you move forward.
First, take a look at your language. Anytime your focus is on “fixing” or “changing” something about yourself you will actually end up repelling the very thing that you say you want. The secret is to be grateful and celebrate where you are in this very moment. What accomplishments have you already achieved? Why is this area of your life not worse? (It could always be worse, right?). You are doing something right. What is it?
Coming from a place of gratitude & celebration in an area of life you’d like to transform provides more power than when you come from a place of judgment. You are either blessing or cursing the very thing you want by your intention around it.
Next, true and lasting change comes from the inside out. In order for a goal to come alive, it must be connected to something you deeply value and believe is possible. Why is this goal important to you? What is worth the sacrifice you will be making to achieve this goal?
Last, in order to create momentum, connect your goal to a clear vision & action plan. See yourself a year from now, succeeding. If this goal is a reality in one year, what actions would you need to take right now? This allows your future to pull you forward and your goals to come alive!
Wishing you clarity, focus & power!
Jill Garaffa is a Certified Professional Coach providing Health & Wellness Coaching for individuals and organizations. For more information, please visit www.seedsofchangecoaching.com or call 732-859-6962.